That is me in the background
I was lying in my hospital bed with three drips going into my left hand. I could
only make out one of them which was 5% Glucose. I was watching the news. I could
not understand what the commentator was saying, but I could see pictures of 20 cars
scattered about smashed up then there was a picture of a road bridge being washed
away. There were a lot of pictures like this. I turned and asked the person who
was lying next to me, where is this. He had his right arm and leg in plaster, as
far as I could make out he was driving a truck and had a smash, he was stuck in
his lorry for 2 hours while the firemen cut him out. He showed me the local Chamonix
paper, it had a picture of the accident and an A4 size right up.
He told me that this was all happening at the other side of the Mont Blanc tunnel,
in Italy, and that the tunnel was closed due to flooding. I then realised even more
so how lucky I was to be alive.
We had been in Chamonix for three weeks. This was the first time that there was
a break in the weather, three days sunshine no winds and warm, then it would be
stormy again. It was my first time in the Alps or any high mountains. All I had
done before was in Scotland, so I left all the decisions to Simon, who had a lot
more experience than me, he was also a far better climber then me. After finding
out the weather forecast from the guide's office Simon said that it was time to
do the Banatti Pillar on the Aiguille du Dru (3754m). He said that it night be the
only break that we get while we were here.
Picture of The Dru, the Bannatti pillar is in the centre and is a 600m shear wall.
At one time it was one of the hardest climbs in Europe.
I was going to climb this with him, and Michael was going to climb with us up to
the bivi site. Flammes de Pierre and stay there until we picked
him up on the way down. He would be able to watch us and take some photos, ounce
we had got about 1/3 of the way up.
We caught the 1120 train to Gare. We then walked across the Mer
de Glacier (the first glazier I had ever been on) to the Refuge de la Charpoura.
The guidebook said that this would take 3 hours, it took us 4.5.
From the refuge to the bivi site it took us 6 hours again the guide book said that
it should be 3. (I could not understand this because if a guidebook for Scotland
said a route would take 6 hours I would normally do this in 4. I was the slowest
going up the hill, I was thinking to my self that surely that I have recovered from
the Ben Nevis race two weeks previous (in which I did a P.B. 2hrs 5mins)) From the
hut we walked along the path a few hundred meters then we hit the Glacier de la
Charpoua.
Mer De Glacier from the train station.
This was the first glacier that I had ever been on apart from the Mer de Glacier
which we had crossed after the train, that glacier was solid ice and very stable.
This glacier was alive, being on an angle of about 25`, as we were walking up we
could see the end of it breaking up with big chunks tens of meters across crashing
down the mountain. The top end was like some one had a board and lifted the end
up then thrown sugar lumps over it. We stopped at the edge of the glacier and put
on our harnesses, crampons and ice axes on, then we roped up with me in the middle.
It was only 300m across. As we started to cross my right leg disappeared up to my
waist into a crack. I pulled my self out, as I looked at the snow I could see a
slight dark line where the crack was. I now know what that line means, I will not
do that again. Looking closer I could see that Simon would have to pick a route
through this by zig zagging through this maze, with big blocks up to ten meters
high sticking up blocking our way. There were 2 crevasses we had to jump. The first
was about 2 foot across onto a snow arete. The other jump was about 3 foot across,
this was down hill onto a steep slope, the other side was also overhanging. I jumped
across then moved to one side and belayed Michael. He jumped across, fell and hit
one of my axes. This had put a gash on his chin, and chipped 3 of his teeth. We
got to the other side with out further incident.
This is the second glazier that we had to cross and later on unknown to me I would
have to cross again alone.
We now had to climb up onto the ridge which was a grade 111 (V. Diff) Just as we
started this it started to get dark (2000). As we climb we somehow went off route,
and this made it a lot harder than the V.diff that it should have been. We got to
the bivi site at 2300 after some hard climbing in the dark. According to my watch
we were at 3320m. I said to Michael that he could do the Dru if he wanted. I knew
that he wanted to do it and that he had all the gear he would need, on him. I also
knew he was a faster climber than I was, and that from the experience that I just
had I did not think I could finish the climb before the storm came in. He said yes.
We put some hot food on which took a very long time to cook I can only conclude
that this was from the altitude. We kept falling asleep while we waited. Eventually
it was ready.
At first light I woke Simon up, he and Michael got ready. Michael had a water bottle
that leaked, so I swapped it for mine. This meant that the only water bottle I had
leaked because my other one I split on the way up.
They set off on their 3-hour abseil to the bottom of the route. (the route was 600m
ED2 (E2).) I went back to sleep.
Latter on when the sun was up I got up. I spent the day on top of the ridge in the
sun looking at the wonderful view Les Grandes Jorassess, Aguille du Midi, Mont Blanc
etc. I could see two piste machines near Dome de Rochefort in Italy,
pisteing the snow. I was also melting snow all day for water. To my horror nearly
all the food was soup and smash. Well it was only for 2 days. The food took a long
time to cook so I did without brews as to save gas. I just drank water and made
the meals runny. Later in the after noon I could see my two colleagues climbing
up the face as they gained in high.
The distance between them is 45M.
Their bivi site was just below the level I was at. We could communicate by shouting
at each other. As it got dark I could see that they still had quite far to go. I
went to bed. Then I realised to my horror that it they got into any difficulty and
could not get to me (they could only get to me by finishing the route, and abseil
down the ridge to me.) I would be stuck, I could not get down with out a rope.
The next morning I could see my two friends on the bivi site. They told me that
they had got there at midnight, and it had taken them 4.5 hours to abseil down not
3 because of the loose rock. It was a log hard day for them since 0500 that morning.
That day I did the same as the day before. While I cooked my tea the gas ran out
so I had to have it luke warm, it tasted horrible. Simon and Michael had only climbed
150m that day, to the next ledge, I guess that they were very tiered.
When we were in Chamonix we left word of where we were and what we were doing. We
said that we would be back by Tuesday evening. They told us that if we were not
back by Wednesday morning that they would send the chopper out for us. It was now
Wednesday morning and I woke up at 1000 to the noises of a chopper. By the time
I got out of my tight sleeping and bivi bag, it was flying off. I could not communicate
with Simon and Michael as it was too windy. They were higher up than I was. They
stayed on their bivi site for the day. I realised that they were not moving so I
got up onto the ridge to wait for any aircraft to come along to signal to them.
I was also blowing my whistle to try and get attention. I could see the station
at Gare, and people walking about it, little dots in the distance I could even look
at the camp site and see my tent. I hardly got any snow melted that day, and I was
thirsty, all I had to eat was three quarters of a chocolate bar and a tube of Nessalies
concentrated milk, I was hungry. The cloud level dropped and I could not see any
thing, then it was dark.
That was my third night over. That night it snowed, about three inches fell.
This was my home for six days
In the morning I could just make out the calls of Michael shouting that they were
going to abseil down and get help, I could not see them any more as the clouds were
low and it was snowing with strong winds. Later that day I could here a heli coming
in and hovering but I could not see it because of the bad viability. I was watching
my watch all day and I could see that the air pressure was dropping. I was thinking
about trying to get out but I was stuck there. If it was just the glacier or just
the steep ridge I might have risked it. I remember then who I got stuck on the way
up, I knew it was harder to climb down then to climb up, I knew I would not be able
to pass that section with out falling, and to fall would mean a fall off a few hundred
meters. I also remember how two Belgians had died this season:
There were five Belgians out on the hills, they got caught out in a storm. They
managed to find a refuge (nearly all refugees have radios) were they radioed in.
They got told to wait there for two days till the storm had finished then they would
send a chopper out to pick them up, were they would also know exactly were they
were. After two hours there was a break in the storm so they decided to walk out.
The storm came back with vengeance. the Belgians who were roped up fell, two of
them died immediately, the rest dug a snow whole and stayed there. When the storm
had blown over it took the rescue team a while to find them, as they did not know
where they were.
That was another reason why I wanted to stay where I was, they knew where I was,
and also I was easily silhouetted being on top of the ridge. That day I read the
book "First ascent of Mont Doodle" I had nothing to eat
or drink that day. Now all the food had gone I was no longer hungry, it was if my
body was saying that there is no point being hungry as there is nothing to eat any
way. The day past by.
I woke up on the fifth day. That night my gortex bivi bag was slowly leaking. The
inside of it was wet, and the outside of my sleeping bag was damp. I stayed in my
bag that day. The weather was just as bad except the snowfall was heavier. Heard
no helis that day. Nothing to eat or drink. I felt my ass getting wet. When I investigated
the reason, I found that the snow shelf that I had made to steep on had melted,
under my bottom, and that I was lying in a slight V. All the snow that had melted
from my body heat had run onto my thermal mat, and ended up in a big puddle, this
had gone throw my bivi bag, throw my sleeping bag it was getting me wet throw the
zips on my salopettes. To stop this getting worse, I used the inners of my plastic
boots to raise me in a straight line again. I would not be using my plastic boots
again as the heli would pick me up. This was a bad decision, which was going to
cost me dearly later. I started to realise that I was slowly dying. I wished that
I had made a will. I was thinking who to leave all my belongings to which are not
much. I realised how insignificant I was, like the small stone next to me, just
sat there, no control over any thing, including it's destiny.
The Dru with the bivi site marked
It was now the sixth day, my sleeping bag was soaking wet. If I stay here another
night I would get hypothermia, and that would be me dead. My watch showed that the
air pressure had dropped 25 milli bars over night. The weather was getting worse,
a foot of snow had fallen and now it was snowing heavily, no helis would be flying
today. I made the stark decision, I would rather die tying to get out and fall to
my instant death than to just lie here and wait for death to come from hypothermia.
I seriously did not think that I would make it out alive. I had not eaten or drank
for three days now. Fluid being very important at this height. I am an atheist but
I knelt down and prayed, asking for forgiveness. Then I packed up. I had more gear
than I had when I came up, as Simon and Michael had left gear with me, they were
going to pick this up on the way out. I managed to pack it all away, except for
the rubbish that I left behind. (This was a hard decision, I felt guilty for this
as I never litter the countryside and I hate people that do) I was thinking to my
self now just take your time, I am not bothered how long it takes. I had two, four-foot
and two, two-foot slings I tied these together then clipped them into my harness.
This was to serve two purposes.
1. If I was to fall they might get snagged and save me.
2. I could use them to lower my self down any trick bits, it was a bit short for
this.
I went down a different route than on the way up. I went down a gully. Though I
knew that this would be very dangerous, as any rock fall (which there is a lot in
the Alps. I was hearing them all the time) or avalanches from the fresh snow would
come hurtling towards me at a very fast rate of knots. But the route up, or any
other buttress would have been too hard and I would not have made it. It was a very
steep decent. I looked down and I could see the glacier 600m below me, the crevasses
seem to open up like jaws waiting for me to fall in. I could not believe how exhausted
I was, it was an effort just to put one foot in front of the other. I had to worm
my may round the rocks looking for the easiest route. I was using the slings by
putting them on spikes, which would hold me if I fell. I fell, the slings came off
the spike. I started to speed up, I swung my ice axe round to use as a brake, and
every thing was going in slow motion it was having no affect bouncing off the rocks.
Well this is it, I'm going to die now, I hope it is instant or at least fast. I
was bouncing off the rocks now my self. I suddenly stopped, it seemed on nothing,
I was precariously balanced. I had fallen only 10m just below me were a massive
drop. I had to contour round a bit. I could see a sling on a spike above me were
someone had use to abseil down. Just in front of me I could see a 9mm climbing rope
it was lying there like a gift from God. (We had seen ropes hanging down from other
routes. People who had been in difficulty and rapped down leaving the rope behind
usually because they only had one rope and had left it behind). I got to the rope
and gave it a hard tug, it seemed secure. I came onto the rope about half way along,
the bottom half was in a pile at my feet with a single figure of eight at the end.
I tied my ATC onto the rope, it looked brand new. Then I tried to pick up the coil
half and throw it down the gully. To my utter disgust I did not have the energy
for this, I was totally exhausted, I could not pick the rope up weighing only 20lbs
or so. I ended up kicking it down, this took a long time as would keep getting tangled.
I was thinking then that if I fell I would not have the strength to keep a hold
of the rope. I fell lots of times during that 25m, swinging about and putting a
lot of strain on the rope. When I got to the end of the abseil I could see the cairns
that marked the route back to the glacier. I was looking along the route I had to
go, as I was now below the cloud level and I could see the route that I had to take.
"Where's a save place to put this rucksack I'll take the crampons and another
axe. I'll find some where prominent so someone can come back later on to pick it
up. I am too weak to take it with me." My eye caught on a fast flowing
stream coming of the ridge, I needed to cross this, as I was watching this I realised
something was not right. It took a while to cotton on that this was infact a river
of snow, which I had to cross. It would pour down for a minute then stop for 10
seconds then start again. I got to it, it was on a steep snow bank. I waited for
it to stop, then I started to cross it. I could not make it without stopping I was
to exhausted half way across I had to stop I could not carry on I was too tiered.
"Come on you can not stop here!" As I got to the other side it
started again, I had just made it.
I found a 4-foot sling so I tied it onto the ones that were trailing behind me.
The going was a bit easier now. Then I came across a big slab that had to be descended.
I could not climb down it, so I lopped the sling round a spike and lowered my self
down, the slings were only just long enough. As I pulled the slings throw, they
got stuck. I could not pull them throw, could not climb up to free it. I did not
want to leave half of them behind. After a ten-minute rest and a bit of aggression
I climbed up to free them. The glacier was just in front of me.
I sat down for a rest I was totally exhausted, that was the easy bit over with.
I took another axe out then took my crampons out of my rucksack. One of them was
broken, the threads had sheared off. "How can I fix this"? I
was on my knees again. "Dear god don't let me die hear. I don't mind if I die
in a road crash, at home. I don't want to die here, please. I'll be good, please
don't let me die here." I griped the nut with my teeth, I was not
bothered if I ripped them out. After a lot of messing about they were fixed, not
knowing if they would last.
The tracks we made on the way out were just visible. There was avalanches all over
the place, it was still snowing heavenly. At the beginning there was debris from
a big avalanche, big chunks of ice. I just had to walk in font of it, I was not
bothered if another on came down and hit me. Every ten meters I would collapse to
the ground exhausted, this was whether it was in the middle of an avalanche field
or not. I could see the refugee 400m away. I had to climb up hill all the way to
the other side. On numerous occasions I would stop exhausted, and look behind me.
"You can not stop here, you only stopped back there five meters away, look
you can see the mark where you stopped, come on. I can not carry on. I've got to
stop. If you stop you will die. I'm not bothered. I wish I was married with my 2.2
kids, semidetached house, 9-5 boring office job, watching telly ( Eastenders ) and
in the pub the rest of the time. I'm not bothered if I die." My head
would drop and be buried in the snow. If the rest of my body relaxed I would have
started to slide down the hill. Come on pull your self together you have got to
tell the story. With that I would get up and climb another 5m find somewhere flatfish
and collapse in a heap. This happened all the way back to the refugee.
At about half way across the glacier I could see the first craves we had jumped
across (2') this had gone there was a 45m gap now. That meant I had to go further
up into a field of blocks I could not see where to go. I was like small boat sailing
thought massive icebergs. There was a crevasse two foot across, then walls of ice
50 foot high which blocked my view and I could not see which way to go. I sat down
and just stared at it, my mind empty of thoughts, knowing I had to cross it, no
other way round. Shit. This is it, goodbye world. I stared at it, again my mind
empty. Ten minutes had past. I took my rucksack off, to leave behind. No take it
with you. I clipped it onto the end of the sling, then throw it across, not knowing
if it would make it. If it did not the weight of it would pull me into the crevasse.
If I did I would never get out again. I dug both axes in to hold me. It landed with
a thud. It bust open, two cups came flying out, one went into the craves. I jumped
across onto the ledge that was only two-foot wide then a wall of vertical ice rose
above some 40 foot. I landed and collapsed in a heap.
After a few minutes I got up, put my began back on and walked along the narrow gap
until it widened out again. I could now see the other side of the glacier 100m away.
I could not see a route how to get there. "I do not believe this I have only
got 100m to go then I am safe. But how the hell do I get there. God don't let me
come all this way for nothing. I'll go this way." By now I would walk
10m and then stop for 5 minutes I would come to a point then just collapse in a
heap in the snow, and stay there for five minutes, and after a lot of mental hard
work I would get up again. I picked a route this I would follow for a while until
it was blocked by a big craves, then I would have to retrace my foot steps back,
Then I would pick another route round another block of ice, the size of a semidetached
house. This happened time and time again. Mentally I could not handle this, it was
too much. "I have not got the energy for this." I could just
about handle the fact that I was exhausted. Knowing how far I had to go. I could
see the route that I had to take. But this was too much to handle, walking 20m which
took a lot of effort as well as time and finding the way was bard, then having to
turn back. As you can imagine the old moral sunk a wee bit, which wasn't exactly
high to start with.
Because of this I was getting higher up the glacier where the blocks were getting
bigger. After a lot of hard work and falls I got across to the more stable slide.
All this entailed was to descend the hard packed ice. The only danger here was large
cracks in the ice under the snow, you could see these as the snow was slightly darker
where this occurred. At one point I fell and I was descending the ice getting faster,
I spun round and dug my adds in, I did not have the energy to stop all I managed
to do was to stabilise my speed." What can I do. Nothing I will just have to
see what happens." Luck was with me, I had slid over a small crack
with the ice, as this happened the adds had sunk through the snow and jammed on
the lip of the crack.
The edge of the crevasse was behind me now. I sat down and took my crampons off.
Looking ahead the refuge was 300m in front of me. along a small track. " I'll
be able to make this in the oner." That thought was to be wildly incorrect.
I could still only manage to walk about 20m before I would have to have a rest,
even when I was 40m from the refuge I still could not make it in the oner. I got
into the refuge, sat down and burst into tears. That had taken 8 hours. This must
have been in relief that I was still alive.
I used the radio to let people know where I was, I also found out that my companions
had got down safely. I now started to feel cold. I then realised, that on the way
down I had no sense of cold, fear, and pain. but now I could feel all of these.
I took all of my clothes off as they were wet. I put my dry clothes on, got into
a bunk with seven blankets on top of me. It took 4.5 hours for me to warm up. I
could feel my feet freezing cold and slowly they would worm up not as a hole foot
and ankle but as a line working its way down my ankle and along my foot to my toes.
The only food in the hut needed to be cooked apart from a portion of rice krispies
and cream. Which tasted wonderful. I drank a lot of water. I put some of my wet
clothing between the sheets, to try and dry them out.
In the morning it was hell putting the wet clothes back on. I put every piece of
clothing I had on. I soon warmed up on the may down the path back to the verglas.
As I got onto the verglas the mist came down. which made crossing it I bit difficult
as of the visibility. The first people I came across were from Dundee. One of the
women in the party was a fell runner, who had been at a couple of the same races
that I had been in. That probably saved my life. (If some one else with the same
climbing ability as I have got, had been in the same position I do not think that
they would have made it as I think my fitness saved me, as well as my determination).
When I got to the end of the verglas I was unbelievably slow climbing the ladders
to the station. All I could think of now was going for a mega meal, this made me
feel hungry. I did not talk to anyone but people on the train gave me some food
and drink, I must have looked some state. I picked my car up from the station and
went round to the campsite. My companions were not there. I went into the drying
room took my wet clothes off. As I took my boots off I saw some of my toes were
black. "How have I done that, I have not stubbed them." I asked
some one why they were in that state. He said that I had frost nip and that I should
soak them in water at 40`c. I went back to my tent and put some water in a mess
tin and heated it up, then I splashed it on my feet. The pain hit me like a brick.
The water was nearly boiling ( a bit too hot) I went back to the drying room, he
said that I should see the doctor. I said that this is my body I am playing with
here and that I am going to the hospital now. One of the girls drove me there.
As I was lying in my bed Tea came round" I am not going to get fat in here."
I wanted three times this amount. As I sat down to eat it I could not finish it,
my stomach must have shrunk.
I complained to the nurses that I was cold, she shut the windows and gave me three
extra blankets. I snuggled into these and was still cold. The poor guy in the next
bed was getting really hot. The nurse could not believe how much I was drinking.
It was four days before I went to the toilet, and over week before I had a crap.
There was an Irish girl in the hospital who had broken her neck abseiling. She came
into my room and said
" I here there has been an English man come in with frost bite."
" That's me."
" I here there has been an English man come in who has been lost on the hill
for a week."
" That's me."
" I here there has been two English men stuck out, a couple of weeks ago on
a ridge over night with no food or bivi gear, in a storm."
" I that was me."
This has changed my live so much!!